Thursday, September 24, 2015

Debate over the term "Soul Tie" and Biblical Inaccuracy

Hey Fam! I use the word "soul tie" to reference when one is emotionally and/or sexually "bound" to someone. I really don't now better words to describe "soul ties" or "bondage." I mustn't lie, I heard the term "soul tie" through my favorite women's ministry. I don't just run with anything preachers say but I felt the term accurately expressed what I was going through. "Soul ties" seemed to be the perfect term for my yearning for people I felt constantly connected to (this will just have to do) emotionally and/or sexually no matter how much I prayed for healing.

So today, I am listening to the women's ministry's latest video and the speaker mentions that there is debate that the term or concept isn't a biblical one but she will continue to use the term (I am paraphrasing and interpreting; please don't come for my neck). So the ministry also referred people to a  biblical research website that answers questions. I like the website because you get the facts and I always have questions about things I read in the bible. Always. The website does add in ministry by commentating, elaborating, and solidifying the author's point-of-view of leading people to Jesus Christ. So I immediately go to the website to see what it has to say.

In summary, the article says that "soul tie" is not a biblical term and not used in the bible. The article also says that the general definition of the term has come to include dividing of one's soul or fragmentation. The article does add biblical backing of scriptures used to defend the concept that are used out of context (1 Samuel 18:1; Proverbs 1:10, 15; 1 Corinthians 6:16).

This convicted me at first. I was about to defend why I feel so comfortable saying "soul tie" and why I will probably continue to use the word. So much so, I was going to use two of the website's own articles on soul links and one flesh to defend my stance. However, my flesh and intellectual yet argumentative part of my brain calmed down. I moved those things out of the way, and the Lord began to speak to my spirit.

When you study the Word of God, you have to really move in the Holy Spirit. The Bible has to convict you and change your heart. That's the point. If you aren't convicted and don't want to be convicted, you will cease to get new revelation from God and the Living Word. The Word of God is living and breathing. If you really read and study, you can see how anything on this Earth can be explained in the Bible in any generation. The Word doesn't change but you can always learn something new from it and it is always applicable

As far as conviction about the Word of God and what it says: You have to be led by the Holy Spirit. If you are studying and learning the Word of God to preach, this is especially for you. You don't want to deceive people with your words and interpretation. However, if you are moving in the Holy Spirit while preaching and then later find debate about a term you may have used out of context, don't beat yourself up. LEARN. You said what the Lord wanted you to say, if you really were letting the Holy Spirit lead you. If someone doesn't like what you said and can't lovingly correct, then they weren't focused on you being used by the Lord and really being led by the Holy Spirit themselves. They are just trying to make you feel inferior by sharing they know something you don't. Just remember that the only person who can make you feel inferior is yourself. Not even God wants you to feel like you are less than. You are the head and not the tail. Above and not beneath. You are fearfully and wonderfully made. Teaching the Word of God opens up a life of scrutiny. You better be prepared to learn but also know for sure who you are in the Lord.

So what did I learn about the "soul ties": "Soul ties" may not be the correct term but the same idea applies. If you can so easily knit souls or become one flesh with people, we have to value the purpose of these gifts for togetherness and ministry. When we don't honor what the Bible says about unequally yoked relationships  and marriage, our emotions and feelings get entangled and hurt in the process. As we experience hurt, pain, anger, doubt, depression, and loneliness, we move further away from the Lord. If we are far from Him, He can't fill our spirits. So instead of seeking Him to be filled, we want answers, reconciliation, closure, or a replacement person to fill the voids. This may not be a "soul tie" but our experiences have caused us to be bound to the things of our past that we used to fill the void of God being our best friend, husband, father, and everything.

Ultimately, what did I learn about biblical inaccuracy and using the wrong terms: Pray, Study, Learn, Seek the Lord, Ask for Wisdom, and Be Led by the Holy Spirit in ALL that you do. The Lord will have His way and the Truth will be revealed anyhow.


Friday, September 18, 2015

Fresh Start, Clean Slate, Starting Over, Yadda Yadda

Hello Angels! Have you ever had a moment in your life where you finally realized what you are supposed to be doing with your life, but your life as-is is so far from what you know it's supposed to be? Well, I'm here. If you haven't been here, you may find yourself here one day if you surrender your ENTIRE life to the Lord. That's how I got here. If you have been here and you have moved forward to do what you were called to do, I have a question for you.

Now What? Yes, this is my number one question. I finally know exactly what the Lord has called me to do but I am in a painful place in life where I just can't stop life as I know it. Logically, this is what I have to tell myself. This painful place feels like a comfy trap I've been in for years. Yet, in actuality, the trap was never a trap and I've always had the choice to stay or go. But the trap stays so comfy as my minimal (and I do mean minimal) needs are met. Every now and then, I even may get an incentive which entices me to stay even longer. How do I move forward to what I was called to do when it means leaving my comfy trap for the unknown.

I may have named it "The Unknown" but I've already characterized that place. Yes, I'll be happy doing what I love but what I love doesn't make money. Doing what I've been called to do is currently costing me the minimal incentives of the trap (a.k.a. my paycheck). The other part of calling is dependent upon people liking what I produce and my influence. Lately, I've come to notice that while I feel like the Lord made me uniquely wonderful and special, the unknown is heavily flooded with people who are better and way more experienced than I am in what I've been called to do. I guess you can tell I am scared of the unknown. I can't deny that I am. I remember the feeling of having to ask my friends for money to eat or not eating at all. I remember not having money to buy the things I needed and never fathomed the thought of the things I might want. I remember wearing a pair of shoes until I physically couldn't wear them anymore. The thought of not having a steady paycheck takes my mind to those memories and further builds resistance in my heart towards the unknown.

So to those who have been here, now what? I've been praying, I've been fasting, and I've been believing that the Lord will show me how He is going to work all of this out.

I read a scripture.

And straightway the father of the child cried out, and said with tears, Lord, I believe; help thou mine unbelief. (Mark 9:24 KJV)

Don't think that because I have questions and concerns regarding what the Lord is going to do for me that I don't believe that He will move. I know He is going to provide wisdom and provision. I know He will make a way for me. I know that even if I have to go through a season of lack that He will bring me out. Just because you're scared, you have doubts, and you have questions for God doesn't make you weak or have less faith. We are humans. Our spirit men will never completely wipe out our flesh; our iniquities are always there. But you have to ask God to help you believe in Him and His will for your life even when you just don't see how it's going to work.

This may sound cliche, but I'm starting over... again. I am going to make the steps to do what He called me to do full time. Little pay or no pay, it's killing me not being fully in the will of God for my life. Happiness is fleeting so I am no longer even looking for that. I am working towards a peace of mind.

In all you do, make sure you are led by the Holy Spirit and you are doing what the Lord has called you to do in that season. This is just a piece of my season I am sharing with you in case you are here, in a similar season, and you need to be encouraged. For those of you haven't been here, your season is simply not like mine and that is okay. With every blog posts you read and all the advice you receive, make sure that it is confirmed in your spirit by the Word of God and by God's instructions for you.

So Now What? I'm starting over. I'm going into the unknown. I can't stay here. I am not trapped; I have a choice. I trust in the Lord to provide. Everything is going to be alright. Yadda yadda yadda. SMOOCHES XOXO

Friday, September 11, 2015


How do I do what? How do I manage to succeed at less than 10% of the things I try and of that success, only 50% actually gets enough of my attention for it to just be alright? Or how do I do everything for everyone else so awesomely and for free but I lose money trying to do things for my own projects and get minimum support, mostly from people I don't know? Or how do I manage not to do anything just right in my own eyes (or anyone else's apparently because I don't get compliments or acknowledgements on anything I may actually try to excel at) yet still have you ask me the question "Elisa, how do you do it all?"

How do I do this thing I call life? Jesus. Jesus is responsible for everything going well in my life. I am thankful for His faithfulness towards me in every area of my life. As you may have read through my cynicism and sarcasm in the previous paragraph, my life, just like everyone else's, is far from perfect. People either look at me in amazement, in disgust/disdain, or enviously/insignificantly when I tell them my age and just a little part of my life.

Amazement: "You have your own nonprofit?! You work where?! You have a degree in what?! You're attending school where?! Wow! That's awesome girl! Keep going! Don't stop! You can do it and you can do it all!"

Disgust/Disdain: "You're all over the place. You could make more money. You're just 25; you do too much. You don't worry about yourself. Don't take it personal. You're too emotional. You should live your life. At least you have a job. At least you're in school. You should be grateful. Oh you act so holy, you need to chill. You need to date. You could have a man if you want to. You should look like this. You should do this instead. Life is passing you by."

Enviously/Insignificantly: "Oh wow, that's nice." Crickets. Blank stares. Conversation about me that is none of my business because I am not there.

All of these are things people actually have said to me. And I have a rebuttal, excuse, argument, and/or logical reason for each thought or question people have put on me. So many questions and concerns has produced so much pressure.

Yet, the only person who can relieve the pressure of the "How Do You Do It" Dance in our lives is Jesus Christ. These questions and concerns always stop me in my tracks. But now, I know how to get over it. 

My life is not my own. When I wasn't trying to walk with Christ, He still chased me yet led me at the same time. Now that I am walking with Him, I have no choice but to trust Him. Trusting in His promise for you is an undeniable part of your journey with the Lord. If you don't trust Him, you're not going to let Him lead every part of your life.

So in the midst of all of the "How do you do it"s, I trust that my life has been strategically ordered by my Father who loves order. He is not a God of confusion so I no longer let these questions and concerns confuse what I know the Lord has told and shown me. I barely understand my own life sometimes and how I got to this particular place. Therefore, I don't waste anymore time trying to accommodate, address, or answer the questions and concerns corner in my life.

I don't currently, but I will and you should, direct the questions and concerns corner to Jesus and tell them to ask Him because He knows best about it all. You have the right and the ability to block out the noise of other people's opinions when you are focused on Christ and you know you are doing as He instructed you. You won't be perfect. But as long as obedience to God and His Word is your life's practice, you have to get used to blocking out people's opinions.

When you live a life in complete surrender to the King, every thing you do will be contrary to the world. So even people who are saved who may be holding on to pieces of their life won't get you and may feel convicted by you. Unfortunately, we as humans like to give conviction for conviction. Even though one conviction is an explicit response to a translated, assumed, or perceived conviction.

None of it matters though. This will feel like it matters. These occurrences will bring up emotions. These times will leave you alone with the crazy thoughts left behind. But you have to tell yourself that none of this stuff matters because Christ is running the show in your life. 

So if you happen to have questions or concerns about people, pray for them. I've just been asking the Lord to help me not to judge people or what they do. I take it to the Lord in prayer. I've realized that while it is not all the way possible, I wish the people in the questions and concerns corner in my life would handle my feelings with such care and just pray for me instead of trying to put their logic on me while the Lord has my life spirit-led. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. How Sway?! SMOOCHES XOXO

Friday, August 21, 2015


Hey Party People! So I know there has been a large gap in my posting. This is the part where I should say it won't happen again. But today, I realized that it probably will. The thing is, I've been blogging for 5 years and this blog hasn't "taken off" yet. I always go through these stints where I am super motivated and I want to turn blogging into a business so that I can finally stop working a 9-to-5 and do something I like for a living. When that doesn't happen, it seems my views are low, people don't retweet, and I just don't feel inspired, I want to quit or just give up on blogging all together. Today, after 5 years, I've finally realized a few things about his blog.

I gave this blog and my passion for writing to the Lord. I write to minister and to help others. Therefore, I can only write what's on my heart and what is inspiring me at the time. I have been trying to stick to a schedule but, on the real, it's not going to work for me guys. I've tried schedules since I started blogging and they dampen my free spirit more than help it. The Lord showed me not too long ago that I have to be careful what I put in the atmosphere. It truly has to be from Him or it will be detrimental to others.

In my case, blogging can't be ran like a traditional blogging business. This for me is the way I share what the Lord has placed on my heart. A few months ago, the Lord told me not to put random ads on my blog but to rely on the donations of readers and wait for advertisement deals that make sense for my audience of believers. Today, the Lord is reiterating that I need to deactivate all old posts that I didn't write under the spirit. In the sense of a blogging business, this is all foolish. But in God's perfect way, I have to trust that what He is saying to me is best for me. This blog is the way I lead people to Christ. This blog is the way I give Him my life. So much to gather in one day, I know.

Girls Like Me, Inc. is my great work. It's the way I pour out the Love of God in my life. I am passionate about it and the Lord opens doors for it and we help many girls., this is the way I pour out the Word of God in my life. In both cases, I have to stay truly inspired by the Lord. His creativity and wisdom is the ultimate and way better than anything I could think up myself. If I don't do things as the Lord instructs or I go out of His will to do things He didn't instruct me to do, it simply has repercussions or it doesn't work.

I don't know about you, but I am tired of things not working. I want to stay inspired. I want the Lord to run things. I want Him to elevate the blog. I want God to be glorified in my life. I want his creative juices and His wisdom flowing through me. I want everything I do to be His work. I don't want the credit anymore. I just want His will to be done. So if you want these things also, here are 3 ways to stay an inspired blogger.

1. Do what the Lord tells you to do. Things will always distract you and you will always get bored if you are not doing what the Lord called you to do. The Lord is the one sending the distractions and allowing you to lose focus. Clearly, the focus isn't on Him, but what would make a great post. When I look back at my old blog posts, they were all so random. I wasn't asking God what I should write about. I wasn't letting Him tell me what to write. I was trying to just stay relevant. And guess what, it didn't work.

If you are a fashion blogger, let the Lord guide your outfits of the day. If you are a hair blogger, the Lord will lead you to contact the right companies. The Lord can build your blogger relationships. I only have one. Hey Malibu! And not because I strategically sought her out. I liked her posts and something in me (I now know it was the Lord) told me to follow her, and to encourage her. I've been following her for the last 5 years and her blog has "taken off." She found her true niche and who she is. She stuck with it. She is doing what the Lord graced her to do, where the Lord saw fit for her to be. I remember emailing Mara and telling her I just don't feel I can make it in the fashion industry where I am because I was in North Carolina desperately plotting a way to move to Philadelphia just to be closer to the fashion industry. In so many words, she responded saying fashion is where you make it. She also said she was determined to be a bomb fashion and lifestyle blogger where she was at, Texas. And she did it.

I am going to take Malibu Mara's advice and spin it for the sake of my post. Your blogging success is where you make it. Don't go outside of what you are passionate about just for likes. Don't add topics because people think you should. What skills did He give you? Don't worry about if you actually "hear" God telling you what to do. Get in your word and read what he tells us about our gifts (1 Peter 4:10-11). If He gave it to you, it is always a pressing in your heart and spirit, and there is way you can use it to give Him glory, that is your command to do what He put in you.

2. Be led by the Holy Spirit. As I mentioned above, I can't write unless I am led by Christ to do so. Right now am I writing and typing so fast. I barely remember what I wrote in the introduction. But it doesn't matter. It's not about what I want you to read. The Lord has something to say to you through me.

When you are writing about fashion, hair, cars, or beauty on your blog, the Holy Spirit will fill you and lead you while you research and write. You will give information and advice you didn't even know you knew. That's called divine wisdom. It only comes from the Holy Spirit. You may not believe in Jesus Christ and/or the Holy Spirit. But even you can't deny that when you are doing something you are good at and passionate about, something in you takes the driver's seat where you would normally be tired and uninterested. That God given drive matched with the Holy Spirit yields awesome results.

The Holy Spirit is a gift given to us to help us. Yes, the Holy Spirit can help your blogging, too! You want more people to read your posts? You want your posts to be more authentic and genuine? You want to like blogging as much as you want to make money from it? Ask the Holy Spirit to fill you before your write your blog. Pray and really take blogging to the Lord. If it's a gift the Lord gave you, He will bless you to make it great and glorify Him with it.

3. Switch up the routine. I told y'all I don't do well with blogging schedules and calendars, especially if I am going through busy seasons or periods that lack inspirations. Thank goodness we don't have to stay the same. Change it up! Even if your prefer a blogging schedule, switch it up every six months to a year to ease your boredom. Your audience will be alright; just inform them of the change, if you'd like. They will appreciate it in the long run. Nothing is worst than a bored blogger writing a boring post.

Don't be afraid to change things on the fly either, especially if led by the Holy Spirit. I just changed the TWELVE campaign because my motivation was all wrong. I even changed my schedule to let my readers know that this blog is ran by the Lord. You may get to a point where your blog design, logo, bio, or even blog title just don't fit who you've grown into. Don't be afraid to change it and start fresh. Those small changes can ignite something beautiful in your writing and blogging.


I know you are probably saying, Elisa, why are you being so deep? The Holy Spirit leads you to blog? The Lord can instruct me about my hair blog? God really cares about blogs? I don't believe in God at all; so what, my blog doesn't matter? Come on, Girl none of this is that serious.

The truth is that God cares about anything His children does. Anything you create, He has put it in you and predestined it to be birthed out of you. He loves you whether you believe on Him or not. You are gifted by Him whether you believe on Him or not. He is that serious and He can help you with something that doesn't seem very serious (like a blog) all because you want to be treated seriously (as a blogger and make money from doing so). It is all very possible but you have to lay everything in your life, including your blog, at the feet of the Lord. Accept Jesus as your Lord and savior. The walk with Him is hard but it is the greatest decision you will ever make. Yes, you take part in the suffering here on earth, but there are riches and glory here as well. And don't forget eternal life. Just say "Lord, I believe you died for my sins and rose again. Come into my heart and life as my Savior." That's it. Start reading His word and learn about Him just like you read many blogs about becoming a better blogger and how to monetize your content. I guarantee that if you start with Christ, it will all work out for the better. SMOOCHES XOXO

Friday, July 31, 2015


Hey Folks! As I stated in a past post, I just celebrated my 25th birthday! I am so excited about what the Lord has in store for me. Now that I am finally coming into my own, I just really want to enjoy my life. I say I am going to do so every year but I never do. I don't want anything to hold me back from just doing whatever I want to do (that is pleasing in the sight of God, of course). To truly enjoy life, I know I must renew my mind and the way I operate my daily life. Well I came up with 5 rules, or reminders, for me to stay in my "Enjoy Life" zone.

1. Be a dedicated Believer in Jesus Christ. There is no joy or true fulfillment if Christ is not the forefront. And I said dedicated believer. In order to enjoy my life, I just can't engage in fellowship with Him at Bible Study and Sunday Service, no matter how busy I get. I have to keep my personal relationship with Him tight. I have to seek Him and stay in His word daily. I have to continue to serve Him in the capacities He has instructed me to. Enjoying Life is not synonymous with lessening the "Jesus Effect" over my life (as many do this to seek enjoyment from worldly outlets). If anything, your walk with Jesus has to intensify in order to look past all the trouble in the world and in your life to value true enjoyment.

2. Don't worry about what you don't have. This one is going to be a hard one for me but I have seen many improvements in this area of my life since I gave it to the Lord. I am a recovering worrier and I worry about everything! Money (or the lack thereof) is a major trigger for me. People think I am frugal because I am good with money. I realized I was frugal because I didn't trust God to do what He told me He was going to do when I prayed to Him about why I didn't have any money years ago. This worry has seeped over into my thoughts about future relationships and plans for my life. I had to realize that life is short. It could end tomorrow while I am worrying about something that hasn't happened yet. Plus, God holds my life in His hands. I am trusting Him now to provide everything I need to make it DAILY. Yes, I have opportunities daily to worry but I choose to trust Him instead. I want to go on trips, look pretty while doing so, and experience quality living. If it is God's will for me to enjoy my life (which it is), I know He will provide if I ask and seek Him. Don't worry; trust Jesus.

3. Embrace the unknown. I just told y'all I was a worrier. So unknown things used to really bother me. I don't even like to not know what the driving directions are when I get in the car. But I now look at the unknown differently. As I grow closer to Jesus in my personal walk with Him, He divulges more and more information to me about His Word and about my future. I now look at the unknown as an opportunity to let the Lord pour into me. And I figure if the Lord hasn't told me about it yet, than that means He has it under control without my help or knowledge. It is freeing to know and realize that the Lord truly has His hand on all things, known and unknown, concerning you. Enjoy every moment and relish in the fact that this awesome moment will lead to the next even if you don't know what that may be yet.

4. Live. Laugh. Love. LIVE your life. Do new and interesting things. Make time for yourself. Explore your God given passions and skills. Live the great life Christ has in mind for you. LAUGH at everything. Don't take yourself too seriously. I was always so serious. Many times I look back and think, "What a waste of time I could've spent having fun." Be happy and provoke happiness in others with a kind spirit. LOVE everyone. Now is not the time to shut down your heart. Be smart with your heart but don't be afraid to love people. Let people in after praying to God for discernment.  Do things to show your love for the people in your life you know love you back. Christ loves you so that you can spread His love.

5. Keep His Peace. Simply put, No Fight Fight. It can be difficult at times but thank God that you have the power to control your emotions and to practice self-discipline. Only through the peace of God will you be able to enjoy this awesome life of new experiences you just asked for. Things will always happen to anger or annoy you. Peace is a practice that must be harnessed within one's own mind and spirit. Don't let those emotions steal your peace. I could be eating ice cream sundaes on a yacht with my homies Jesus, Tupac, Beyonce, and my future husband wearing Louboutin shoes I didn't pay for, and eating grapes out of my Birkin bag. But if I let the captain's hacking cough over the speaker for 5 hours make me irritable, I missed the chance to enjoy and revel in the moment. Instead, focus on making and taking your own peace wherever you go.

I hope that these rules and reminders were helpful. Please let me know if you have any other good ones. I am serious about really embracing and living life to the fullest. As Christians, we will suffer and endure trouble on this earth. However, there is another side of God that is prosperous in joy, peace, love, self-discipline, and even riches. All of those things are heavenly and he does want to share those things with you. You have to give God your whole heart first. And then you really have to trust Him even when it doesn't look like nothing heavenly is going to happen for you. Trust in your Lord. SMOOCHES XOXO