Wednesday, December 14, 2011

THE GRADUATE

Hello Everyone!!! I am sorry for the neglect but with finals and moving, I have just been extremely busy. And drum roll please for my major announcement... I am a graduate of Shaw University!!! I don't feel much different. I just feel like I am old mostly and like there is an expiration date on my dreams. That feeling on top of feeling like no one really understands my dreams has all made me very lethargic. I am supposed to be moving to Philadelphia in three days and I am not even packed.

I just don't want to fail. Fashion is the only thing I have been passionate about in a long time. It just happens to be the most risky route I could possibly take as a mathematics major with no fashion experience.

My brother asked me why won't I stay in Winston-Salem. It sounds very tempting. I know the city, I know where I could work, I could get my own place because the cost of living is low, and I know I will always be comfortable and content. However, I can't take the easy way out. I have to live my dreams and see how far I can get so that I won't have any regrets. No, I won't be getting paid much money and I will not be able to have my own place. I will be a country girl commuting between two big cities. But a moment of being uncomfortable is worth a lifetime of living my dreams. Everyone can't say that they live the life they dreamed they would. I want to be able to say it.

So I said all that to say, cast out fear. I graduated college even though three and a half years ago I was too terrified to even to apply to schools. I have already conquered one fear and its the perfect time to tackle them all. The same goes for you. Anything you are just afraid to try or do, I am here to encourage you to just do it. Especially if you feel stagnant, confused, and broken because you have nothing to lose and everything to gain.We are our own worst enemy sometimes but we have to let go of fear and become our own heroes. My superhero name is The Graduate ;)

Later Loves! SMOOCHES XOXO

Sunday, November 20, 2011

FOOD FOR THOUGHT: LOVE AGAIN

I know that I have a major issue maintaining healthy relationships with friends, family, and men. And most times, I sabotage those relationships by expecting too much too soon and by making assumptions based on past relationships. I think the hardest thing I had to learn was that everyone is not meant to be in your life or they may have just came into your life to teach you a lesson. By constantly learning these "lessons," I've began to ingrain in my mind that I don't want to ever go through what I have gone through before. So I don't give people a chance, I cut people's spans in my life short, and I assume the task of getting over another hurt.

I don't want to live like this anymore. As I approach adulthood, I accept responsibility for all of my actions, all of the mistakes I have made, and I don't mind admitting my wrong and giving those apologies. I just feel like I don't know how to grow with someone. I am not sure if I will ever really be able to trust again. I hate that I can't let go enough of the past to let some people who I really miss have a chance to come back in.

I just sometimes feel I have no more love left, no more patience, and no more time. I love really hard and I like to be there for those I care about. So when they hurt me, I feel like a piece of me was taken away. When I hurt them, or it is my fault, or they say it is my fault, I die a little inside. We all want someone to like and accept us as we are. And someone that doesn't know themselves or doesn't have a strong relationship with a higher power, dealing with people will get you every time. You want the impossible: You want imperfect people to be perfect.

I  say all of this to say, I am not ready yet. I thought I was ready to move on, build relationships, start fresh, and keep trying to love past the pain. While trying to do this, I have been masking the pain. I haven't really addressed my real issues with myself and the past. I need to face my fears of trusting and loving and learn how to do that God's way. I have to accept a failed attempt as motivation to do better next time rather than an opportunity to run and hide. I made the first step of forgiveness but now I have to make the step of realization. I want to change my life. I want to love again.

Sunday, September 11, 2011

FLY BY

I am up extra early for no reason at all. I went out of my room and into the hall of my dormitory to find last year's yearbook laying on the coach. I pulled up a seat and I began to flip through the pages. I just saw how much fun everyone around me had all year long. I was only in two pictures. I don't remember having that much fun. I remember working hard to be shot down, struggling through my classes, and caring about people who really didn't care about me. High school was the same way. I tried to enjoy myself but work always took precedence. Losing friends always put the ultimate damper on my parade.

Don't feel sorry for me; these are the choices I made. I just regret letting life fly by. I am 21 and my happy memories are minimal. I was a blessed child but some things in my past kept me depressed and anxious for years. It took me 21 years to truly love myself and to believe in myself.

This is my LAST semester of college. If there was never a better time to truly live my life, the time is now. If life is going to fly by me, I want to have the courage to hop on it's back and catch a ride. Every dream I ever had I am going to pursue. My bucket list will began to be checked off. I won't let finances hold me back. I won't let people's opinions affect my decisions. I won't compare my path to other people's lives; Jesus gave me these pink and gold plated Louboutin sneakers for a reason.

So life starts now. Let's Fly, Amelia Earnhart. SMOOCHES XOXO

Friday, August 26, 2011

100

The number 100 signifies many things. 100 years signifies the turn of the century. 100 pennies make a dollar. 100% constitutes a whole, full, completion. Today 100 signifies all the blogs I have ever posted on this site. 100 signifies all the lessons I have learned and shared in a Food for Thought. I have 100 reasons to fall in love with style and fashion. 100 is the number of people touched by a post I used as a platform to aid a worthy cause. Why is 100 so special you may ask? Just like 100, I am an ordinary number just like the others. However, I am aware of my worth. Knowing my own significance doesn't make yours any less. I choose to celebrate, keep striving, and make 101, 200, 500, and 1 million significant numbers as well. So 100 "Thank You Sugars" to everyone who frequents the blog and supports the movement. Check out the love from a constant motivator, supporter, blogger buddy, Meezy, via Futuristic Blvd. As always, SMOOCHES XOXO


Sunday, July 17, 2011

DILEMMA

I am really beginning to face some tough decisions. I am conflicted over the life I want, the life I have, and the current path I am on. I am a Mathematics major, Accounting minor from Shaw University. I learned so much in my studies, especially how much I don't want to pursue those fields in my career. This blog has opened my mind, my eyes, and my world  to the fashion industry. And surprisingly, not only do I love the creativity and freedom of the Fashion World, I respect the structure of the business. Although this structure makes it hard for a young Black girl like me with no money and no connections, it intertwines so cohesively with what I want to do with my life. I have been researching graduate fashion management programs and possible cities I would like to live and work in. However, every time I express my dreams and goals to someone who could give me that big break, they don't see what I see. They don't believe that I can have the fashion talent desired to excel. They want a fashion student, which is understandable. But just because I didn't study it in school doesn't mean I don't have a fiery passion for it in my soul.

I realized there our a few things I'm going to have to do. I am going to have to work on my outer appearance. I am a pretty girl :) but I am not stick thin. Since middle school, I knew I couldn't afford to stay up with the trends so I just had my own laid back style that kept me looking presentable. It continued into my college years, a time I wanted to evolve my style but still didn't have the means to. The fashion industry is image driven and I must look the part every moment of my life. If the uniform is heels, nice handbags, and stylish clothing, I am ready to oblige. However, I am beginning to see that my budget can't even sustain a splurge on cheap clothing. I am going to try thrifting but that has become an overpriced practice too. Why pay fifty dollars for an old shirt when I can get a new one for $25? I never thought my hardest project would be styling myself but it is a challenge I will accept.

I also realized that I am going to have to beg, plead, write letters, and crawl on my knees to get some fashion experience. I am going to have to work a job next semester but I really want to intern as well. With 18 final credit hours in the mix, I really just want God to make the impossible possible. I am researching boutiques and designers in the Raleigh area and will be writing letters and emails next week.

Lastly, I realized I can't give up. I can't let people discourage me. I have to be able to accept criticism and to evolve beyond the critique. I have to believe whole-heartedly that if I prayed and cried to God about this thing and I believe that he is guiding me on the right path, I can't detour from that no matter what happens. I am working on my spiritual life, my forgiveness, and my communication skills. I am just trying to be a better, more self-assured Elisa.

With every problem I just listed, I provided a solution. Another skill I am trying to master: Solving my own problems. As a little girl, I always had a solution. Most times a style solution. I absolutely adored dressing myself, my mom, my cousins, and my grandma. My grandma instilled style into my heart at a young age. She would say "If you look good, you feel good. And when you feel good, you can do anything." And just with those words, I believed I was unstoppable. Now as a grown up, I am fighting to get that crazy, childlike faith back.

I have the passion. I have the drive. I am hungry. I believe it will all work out. I have so much work ahead of me. Life as I know it is not an option anymore. There is no reason I can't live my dreams and be happy with the life and career I chose and shaped for myself. I have been grinding the whole time. I guess I wrote this because I know the biggest hustle of my life starts now.

Friday, February 4, 2011

KEEP MOVING FORWARD

Sometimes it just takes a little motivation to keep moving forward. Even when it feels like everything has fallen all around you and nobody really cares, keep moving forward. Even though you know you are going to have to fall ten times before you stand, keep moving forward. Even when you feel as though there is no solution, keep moving forward. Even when all hope is gone and all faith is lost keep moving forward. For a moment, I stopped believing in in myself. I stopped caring. I let people affect my mood and attitude. I decided I should give up because I just was too afraid of the outcome. But then my Grandma said "Don't Quit Elisa." And I didn't; I just kept moving forward.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

NEW YEAR, NEW MATERIAL

Hey Guys!!! How are you?! I don't get to talk to you all much anymore because I was focused on giving you all Elisa-Approved content. Plus, I am constantly on the move with school, sorority, my mentoring program Girls Like Me (check it out: http://girlslikeme.webs.com), and just trying to be a better Lisa. But I want to spice up my blog and make it more personal. I really want you all to feel where I am coming from, what I love, what I dread, and what I am capable of. Of course, I have some ideas of my own ;) And I am taking pointers from all the successful fashion bloggers/stylists/tastemakers. However, wonderful readers, I need your opinion. What do you want to see from a Fashion-Loving, Hip-Hop-Listening, Big-Dream-Having Math Major? Let me know with a comment below. SMOOCHES XOXO