Wednesday, December 17, 2014

#FOODFORTHOUGHT: POUR OUT

Hey Loves! My last #FoodForThought was about letting God fill you up. Today, this post is about when you have to pour out all God has put in you. When it really inconveniences you to be there for others but you know it's what you've been called to do. Today is one of those days for me. Usually, I would stress, go crazy, have a bad attitude for the day, and take out my aggression on the ones who love me most. But strangely, and gratefully, I have a calm over me. I am determined to not stress over this because I know God has me. I've finally realized there is no use in pouring out on others if your are pouring out mud and dirty dish water.

Whatever you pour out onto others needs to be pure, refreshing, and cleansing to their spirits. Even though you will be left empty, our faith fills us until God restores. He will always take care of those who believe in Him. So when you pour out onto others, make sure you are happy about your decision. Smile and don't complain. Don't remind them that you are going out of your way no matter how appreciative they are. Do whatever you are doing for that person unto Christ.

Trust me, I know it is difficult. This will literally be my first time passing this test! But I know the Lord is so able and I'm tired of going around this mountain. People are always going to need me to do something for them. I am going to be convicted in my spirit to serve. Every time I have to serve someone else, I don't want to be vexed, angry, and drained because I am the only one who will feel the aftermath of it all in my heart, body, mind, and spirit. So today, I don't want my emotions to control my pouring out anymore. I am going to pour out with the expectancy that the Lord will fill me with even more. Love You, SMOOCHES XOXO

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Tuesday, November 18, 2014

#FOODFORTHOUGHT: FILL ME UP GOD

Currently, Casey J's single, "Fill Me Up" has been ringing in my soul. Tonight on Girl Talk with Elisa I will discuss how I've been running away from God and his voice. Instead of allowing God to fill me up, I've been trying to fill my heart with other things. I've been trying to take my life in my own hands. I got a reaffirming word from the Lord and you would think I would be happy but it scared me. Mainly, I was scared because I just don't see the Lord using me in that way. Over the weekend, I realized it doesn't matter how people view me and it doesn't even matter how I view myself. I've been called to do his work. So no matter how much I want to run away from him, I will get my dosage. Even if the Lord has to double up or change my prescription, he's determined to heal me. When he finally caught me and when I finally surrendered, the Lord began to fill me up with all I need to do his work. He had to remind me that he is the doctor of my soul and that he knows what is best for my spiritual well being and growth. I just want to encourage you to let the Lord empty you of all your hurts, pains, judgements, and bad days. He wants to fill you with His spirit. He wants to fill you with a fresh anointing for what's next. He wants to fill you with his power.  Your life was calculated. You have to be filled so that you can be emptied daily by pouring God's love onto others. You are filled to be a filler. You are filled to minister. You are filled to serve. I love you but Jesus loves you way more bud, SMOOCHES XOXO

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Tuesday, November 11, 2014

#FOODFORTHOUGHT: BEAUTY IS HER NAME

Hello Ladies! Today, I just wanted to remind you that you are beautiful inside and out. God made you in his own image. You have the face of God. You have the body of God. You have a heart like God's. If you feel hurt or rejected because someone doesn't see the God in you, turn to Christ. He came here on Earth also made in God's perfect image to save your unique beauty. Jesus gave you the opportuntiy to share your God given beauty with the world and to turn hearts to His. Your beauty encompasses all of you. Your dreams, your spirit, your passions, your talents, and even your physical appearance is God's ordained plan for your beauty to shine on his behalf. Your validation comes from him. You are beautiful because Christ told you so. I love you darling! Stay Beautiful FOREVER because FOREVER You Are BEAUTIFUL! SMOOCHES XOXO

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Tuesday, November 4, 2014

#FOODFORTHOUGHT: 20-SOMETHINGS MUST VOTE

Hola Homies! So here is the deal, you MUST VOTE TODAY. I've heard so many people talking about voting but here is the perspective of a 20-something year old to a fellow 20-something. Right now, if you are 20-something just out of college, your debt is ridiculous. It was hard for you to find a job when you got out of school. You may have one now, but its still hard to stay afloat. If this is even partially true, you have to make sure you vote so that politicians who care about you succeeding, getting out of debt, and out of your relative's house so that you can be a successful business and home owner one day. People think we just don't care but they don't understand that most of our age group is turning up because we are losing hope. If you are Black, they are trying to kill you and your potential children. There won't be schools for your kids and they may die as a teenager if they are in the wrong place at the wrong time. They have plenty of jail cells ready and waiting on you to make a false move. You won't have any help from the government if you retire or fall on hard times. This is just the tip of the iceberg but I can go on all day. Most importantly, you should vote because they are saying you won't and that you don't have a true voice. They don't think you are important or that you care how you are viewed. Well, look at it like this my fellow 20-something. We are notorious rebels. We go against the grain and we do the exact opposite of what they think we should do just to make them mad for trying to tell us. Let's prove them wrong, let's get under their skin, and let's make them wish they never would've tried to play us. We have to find the right times to be rebellious and to turn up my fellow 20-somethings. Today is the day to turn up to vote and rebel against those trying to oppress us back into slavery. VOTE & SMOOCHES XOXO

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Monday, October 27, 2014

#FOODFORTHOUGHT: LIMITS OF FAITH

Hello Loves! For a while now, my Bishop has been teaching us about faith. While his teaching and knowledge on faith is explosive and is changing my heart, my mind continues to hold limits. Just for background and transparency, I am a business owner. I consider this blog, my non-profit, my online boutique, and my web show subsidiaries of my company. I really went as hard as I could for these things to do well but my best wasn't good enough. My businesses didn't perform as well as I would've liked them to for multiple reasons. People say to me "well at least you did and got this far." But all I see is, of course, a lesson learned, but more profoundly I see hovering failures. I am at a point in my life where I either have to make my dreams work in way so that I can still live or I have to be content for a while just working my 9-5. Because attempting to do both is killing me. And doing multiple things and not focusing or even honing into what's most important is making everything I do for myself lack luster. And I know what some of you are going to say, "be grateful you have a job." But now I know why the people who say that say it. Life beat down their dreams so much that they either succumbed to the non-pursuit of their dreams, or they lost it all chasing them. As you succumb to the non-pursuit of your dreams, a little piece of you dies every day. That glimmer in your eye, that pep in your attitude, that spark in your soul. And for some they just go on doing what they have to do as the spark dims day in and day out until it is extinguished.

I am at the point where I am trying to not to let the spark in my soul die. I am trying not to let everything that has fallen make me trip up on what God said he had for me. It is so hard to hold on when you feel like all you do is fail when it comes to the things you were called you to do. Because now even what you know you heard comes into question. Like many of my #FoodForThought posts, I am not bringing a solution but showing others who may be dealing with this that they are not alone. I had a long talk with my cousin about everything and he was just encouraging and he believes in me. He believes in me so much that he is going to connect me with some people who may be able to help. Sometimes you just need people who believe in you enough to give you an opportunity. Or maybe you are where I have been the last 2 years, there are no opportunities. Whatever you are doing is not opening doors and all of the people you are helping are either using you or don't have the power to present you with any new opportunities. Just take it with a grain of salt and sow it into good ground. The only thing that has me holding on is that I know all I have done for others and I know I always try to do my best when I say I am going to do something for someone. I am not doing it for them. I am doing it because the Lord led me to do it. If I am doing it for him, I am doing it to give him glory.

The limits that have been placed around my faith in my mind can only be transcended by Christ. With all the things that are on my back, I should have gave up a long time ago. But there is no limit to God's strength. There are no limits on how much God can bless your life in one day. And most importantly there is no limit on the love, grace, and mercy that He shows us daily. You may feel like your faith is limited like mine is today. But if you are really like me, you will take it all to Christ. I have just been in my word. I've been praying and I've been sowing. I know life isn't perfect and the limits won't be loosed overnight. However, I know if I humble myself to my limitless God that He will remove the limits from my faith as well. Stay encouraged! No Limits. SMOOCHES XOXO

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Saturday, September 27, 2014

YFBFB: MARA OF MALIBUMARA.COM


Hello People! I am very excited for this YFBFB post! I present to some and re-introduce to many my blogger bestie, Malibu Mara! I love Malibu! The Houston, Texas (H-Town Vicious)  based Fashion and Lifestyle Blogger has been making power plays in the industry for a while. However, she knows that there is always room to evolve and grow. And this is Malibu's moment! She is inspiring, hardworking, creative, and intelligent. I always learn from her and I will always be a supporter. We did something different this time for YFBFB! Malibu was so generous to create a video for her interview in which she provides great advice for bloggers at any level in their blogging career. Thank you so much Malibu! And thank you for watching.


Follow MalibuMara EVERYWHERE:

Love and SMOOCHES XOXO

Monday, September 1, 2014

#FOODFORTHOUGHT: ALL USED UP

Hey People! So, I just had a mini breakdown. I've had a lot on my back and I just broke under the pressure of it all. All of my life, I've thought about what other people thought of me and my decisions. I never put what I want first. If I'm discouraged by someone in a thing that I love to do, it stops me from doing it. I don't do things that make me happy but instead I do what other people approve of so that I could have some support opposed to none. I've come to realize that I have been doing everything I don't want to do for people's approval only to be alone majority of the time and to not have support in any of my endeavors. I watched a video today by Youtube Beauty Guru, Peakmill. She said that when it's your time to shine, shine and don't let anyone stop you or discourage you. They don't know where you been and what you had to do to get there. It may not be your time but you have to be patient. Support others and let them shine. I have no issues with being patient and waiting on God because I know that when it is my time only he can open the door. And I always support other people. I help so much that I almost always end up feeling used and sacrificing all I want to do. My grandmother said I just need to do some things for me but that is difficult. I get so discouraged when I pursue my endeavors and they fail. People keep asking me to do things because I do them well. It's frustrating when I can make things happen for others but I can't make anything happen for myself. I sometimes just want to give up on all my dreams and just spend my time doing everything that everyone else wants me to do. I feel like why keep going God when I keep failing? You put all this in my heart, it's what I love to do. So why can't I be successful? What is my real purpose?

I'm sharing my issue but this time not with revelation of a solution. I'm just sharing. The story of Job has been on mind all week. He was in a low point in his life and he lost everything. His wife thought he was insane to keep serving God. His friends kept trying to find out if he was really living for Christ, accused him of being a liar, judged him, and tried to tell him his bad time was brought on my something he did. But Job wasn't moved. He kept praising God through the low times. He poured all of his cares onto God. God proved himself by the end of Job's trying test. In the end, Job was restored with everything he lost and more. When Job could have gave up on himself because he felt like a failure, he instead had hope. I'm getting this all off of my chest to let you know that this test is just that, a test. It will end, and you will get through it. God will prove himself. You may feel like you are failing the test but you will pass. All your gifts, your grace, your blessings, and your hope are not all used up. You may feel all used up by people and the challenges of life but God is going to restore you. My Bishop just said this Sunday to work your dry season and then you will be prepared when God opens a window in your season of harvest. Keep going and don't quit. Do what the Lord put in your heart and he will make a way. Sometimes you have to encourage yourself as you encourage others. This is me encouraging myself and reminding myself that I am not all used up. Everything I am going through is preparing me and the Lord is going to bless me. I just have to keep going even though I don't see a positive ending or even a logical solution. And he is going to bless you too. We just have to have faith and remember who our God is. Keep your head up, SMOOCHES XOXO

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Monday, August 4, 2014

#FOODFORTHOUGHT: WHEN YOUR LIFE IS A MESS

My life is a mess and I don't know what to do. I literally want to complain and list everything that's wrong but I can't. Because though He slay me, I know how good he has been. My Bishop keeps preaching about our grace, gifts, and the success that is about to come on our lives. I trust God but sometimes I just pray he doesn't forget about me when all of this begins to happen for everyone. That's what it seems like now. Everyone is doing well and I am so happy for them. But then I think, "Man, why aren't these things happening for me?!"

But just because I don't know what to do doesn't mean I am not going to do anything. Just because I want to quit doesn't mean I am going to halt everything in my life. Though I am in darkness, I will not forget that light exists. One thing I know, God is able. It doesn't look like it. It doesn't feel like it. But you just have to know it. Struggle hits everyone's life in one form or another. All we can do is give our cares to Christ and let him work it out for us. I want to just quit life but God gave me timelines. I have too much work to do. That's how I keep my mind off others and my eyes on Christ. The Lord keeps calling me to silence which is difficult and I am doing better. But I don't want to complain; I want the joy of the Lord on my mouth at all times. I want my life to be a praise. I want young girls to know that with God as your saviour and ruler of your life that all things are possible. If God blessed me then, he will bless me again. So I am just going to work through the mess and I am going to move forward. Your environment may be a mess but in you the Lord is using the mess to build a new, good work in you. Jesus loves you. SMOOCHES XOXO

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Saturday, August 2, 2014

#SAYNOMORE2BULLYING: SABRE'S STORY

 My name is Sabre Gooden. I am a 16 year old victim of bullying. I got bullied my freshman year in high school in the Fall of 2012. It started with a guy who wanted to become friends with me. There was another freshman who liked him but he picked on her. Instead of taking it out on him, she started bullying me everyday I was there. She would walk past me and try to bump me so we could start fighting. She would tell a big group of kids to start laughing at me for no reason. All the people I turned to, like my "friends," left me the next day. It got so stressful that my hair fell out, I started starving myself, and I had to start wearing glasses because my eyesight was being affected by the stressful situation. The counselors and teachers knew what was going on but acted as if they didn't care. My family spoke to people all the way to The Georgia State Board of Education and they did nothing. After I told the assistant principal that I wanted to retaliate, he had police follow me around the school each day. 



My only option to not get in trouble was to leave and do homeschooling. My mom took me out of the school January 14, 2013. I sat at home for a year in isolation doing homeschooling. This made me very anti-social. I got the opportunity to speak about my bullying experience on November 15 of last year on WAOK radio. I even spoke about my ideas for my campaign but I didnt get any support. I was so depressed after all of this that I overdosed on 3,000 mgs of pills. I went to a crisis stabilization center for 2 weeks earlier this year. It was like rehab for teens with suicidal thoughts. When I realized that I could have died from those pills and I was able to get out of the rehab, I got my motivation back to continue this campaign (SayNoMore2Bullying). I just want to get the opportunity to tell my story to anyone that needs to hear because I know suicide is not the only option after being bullied. My plan is to go to different schools and do different activities as well as tell my story for motivation to others who may need it. 

It is simply amazing that Sabre has the courage to turn her situation around and use her struggles with bullying as motivation to encourage others not to give up on themselves. Bullying is a serious issue which should be acknowledged as such. I thank the Lord that Sabre is still here to tell her story because her story is going save someone's life. Please support by donating: http://www.gofundme.com/bo6ejg. Also follow her, on Twitter (@SNM2B) and Facebook (Saynomore2bullying). Last, not least, sign her petition that will push the enforcement of anti-bullying laws: https://www.change.org/petitions/nathan-deal-and-u-s-house-of-representatives-enforce-anti-bullying-laws-in-schools#share

You are awesome Sabre! Please support her!!! SMOOCHES XOXO

Thursday, July 17, 2014

#FOODFORTHOUGHT: PRIORITIES

Matthew 6:33 ESV  But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness,  and all these things will be added to you.
I just want to remind you as you check off your to-do list and run your errands today that of all your priorities,  Christ is first. Like any relationship worth having,  you have to make time for your relationship with Christ, get to know him,  and watch it flourish.  Yes we are busy,  but He is never too busy to provide ALL of our needs daily. So set aside time to read his word or to talk to him today.  He wants to be first on your to-do list. 


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Wednesday, July 9, 2014

#FOODFORTHOUGHT: DREAMS

Don't ever stop chasing your dreams.  Push past negativity in your own mind and in the opinions of others.  Now is the time to believe that you can do all things through Christ who strengthens you. Accomplishing your dreams will be a milestone for you but it is really God's chance to use the manifestation of your dreams as His witness.  So don't stop chasing your dreams,  just get cuter running shoes. Love & SMOOCHES XOXO

Tuesday, April 29, 2014

FOOD FOR THOUGHT: PURVEYOR OR HATER

Hola Loves!!! I really don't believe in haters. I know they exist, but I try not to be one or associate with any. So, in my book, you are a non-factor if you are purposely, consistently hating on people. With that being said, I just want to encourage you if haters are running in your life. If you decide to do anything, stand for something, or you follow your own mind, people are going to have something to say. If you do the exact opposite of everything I just listed, people are still going to have something to say. I experience it daily. Trust, the shade in my life as a Christian and Blogger from other Christians and Bloggers is super real. But surprisingly, it rarely affects me. I will admit, I am sensitive and emotional because I like to influence people positively. When I do something to affect them negatively (most times, I have no idea what that "something" is), I feel like a bad person and that I was misunderstood when I just wanted to be accepted. Well, those are natural feelings. But I channel my emotions into energy and I fuel my future. I no longer take things too personally and I try my best to move forward. I focus on my work. I just think about building my brand, creating new ideas and business models, and to just keep climbing. Not to show-off or to prove your haters wrong, but to simply have your life focused. Sometimes, you have to have tunnel vision and speed past everyone who is spurring their opinions your way.

I've realized there are 3 Reasons why people hate: 1) They are trying to help, 2) They are jealous/don't like you, and 3) They do it to everybody (mom, brother, puppy) and you are no respect of person. Doesn't that make you feel better knowing that their hating has nothing to do with you but their mental instability to not focus on their own lives. God wants us to be purveyors of truth and love. You can spread the truth about Christ just by being nice to people, encouraging them, and not saying anything if you have nothing nice to say. SIMPLE. Before you start getting deep with folks, check yourself and your delivery. It takes a special spirit to tell people the whole truth about Christ without that person turning the mirror back on their flaws but instead being convicted in their spirit enough to recognize a messenger from Christ. I am so quick to tell you, I love Jesus Christ but who am I without him but an empty, wretched vessel? I am not a preacher, a deacon, or any other title that screams Holy. I am a human being who knows where her help comes from! So therefore, I seek Christ, share what I know for sure, and I purvey love. I think if we all, me especially, would spend less time on haters, we could focus on ourselves and lead by example. Don't be a Hater; Be a Purveyor. SMOOCHES XOXO

Tuesday, April 22, 2014

FOOD FOR THOUGHT: AFTER YOU MAKE A MISTAKE

Hello All! I wrote this a few months ago when I made a mistake that was eating me alive.

I was mad at myself because it was something I've been praying about; I really want God to remove it from my heart. Among many issues that I have, recently I have come into this habit of talking about people. I never used to talk about people. I am in a place where I feel lonely and I have felt alone for a long time. I tried to open up but I feel like people were using me, making assumptions, and talking about me behind my back. Well, hurt people hurt people. I still have to be around those same people and it is hard for me to shake the bitterness and it is beginning to have no respect of person. I am still technically alone here and I don't really have any close friends to confide in. Emotionally, I word vomit and it is killing me but I do it anyway. It's like I finally get an open ear and someone to listen to me. Only to find, they really don't care and telling them was really a big mistake.Trust me, I am not making excuses for myself. I AM WRONG for talking about people. It is not right Period. Point. Blank. But thank God, I serve Jesus Christ. He forgives me of my sins and I can pick up my cross again today and try harder to have a purer heart. Now, if your mistakes aren't eating you alive, you know you are just going to do it again, and you don't want to try, than this blog post isn't for you. This blog post is for those who have been convicted in their spirits because God is trying to pick the bad things out of their heart, while molding and shaping them for their futures. Here are a few tips to help you recover from mistakes:

1. Acknowledge you made a mistake. As soon as I had slipped and said what was truly in my emotions, I knew I was wrong. I apologized and said "you know, what I just said wasn't right. I shouldn't have done that." God can't correct you unless you open up your heart and let Him. If you tell Him you want to change, He is going to start showing you the things you need to change. Confess it to Him because He already knows. He just wants to be sure that you realize it's not of Him and that it has to go.

2. No one sin is bigger than the other. If you are measuring sin, yours compared to someone elses, your little sins compared to the big ones you've been delivered from, you might as well start measuring the steps to heaven and hell. Then weigh the amount of love it takes for one to die for the sins of countless people He knows who will sin perpetually until the end of time. In order to get closer to Christ, you have to know His heart and want to mirror what's in it. Not one sin is in His heart so each and every last sin hurts Him. Conviction doesn't work if you don't accept the severity of your actions.

3. Pray. Pray and ask God to give you a pure and clean heart. Ask Him to remove everything that is not like Him. Ask God to move in its place. Tell Him to give you wisdom to find better ways to deal with the void that what you did was suppose to fill or cover up. I've been praying for a while about gossiping and God finally caught me in my tracks about it. I am learning to roll all my cares off of me and on to Christ in prayer.

4. Speaking of  voids, you have to Guard Your Heart from negative seeds. There is always a void where a seed was planted from which sins and mistakes stem from. You have to be careful what you listen to and what you watch because it all affects your heart. Like I stated earlier, I felt alone and I felt like everyone was against me. I began to do what I thought everyone was doing to me. Where did I get that from? Probably from some reality show with housewives spreading rumors amongst each other about each other. Or better yet, some love song with a line that goes something like "I want you to feel how I felt." We are to love each other, even when someone does you wrong. Revenge is the Lord's, not ours. Now the scripture seed is one to plant.

5. Read your bible. Like I just said, plant scripture seeds in your heart. If you keep an arsenal of scriptures handy for anything you are going through, you will begin to not turn to your sinful nature or make mistakes you have made before. You will instead begin to triumph over the tests and trials because you have researched how someone else passed or failed the same test in the bible. EVERYTHING is in the bible. They hide the truth in books people :)

6. Don't beat yourself up. I am the worst with this. It's hard for me to recover from the bad things I've done, even after I have done all of the above. But then I remember that Jesus died on the cross for every sin I will ever make. Beating myself up about it is equivalent to not believing that He heals the broken. I am not saying take advantage of His gift of forgiveness but I am saying don't waste time dwelling on the past. I began to see my mistakes as lessons, I learn from them, and I do my work so I can have a better chance of passing the test the next time it comes around. You gotta move forward in your walk.

In life, you are going to do bad things, sin, and make mistakes every day. But everyday you have to trust God, learn, roll your cares on to Him, pick up your cross, and you two keep walking. And classically put, it's not the mistakes you make but how you recover from them. Let's recover with grace from anything that had us bound! Jesus Loves You, SMOOCHES XOXO

Monday, April 14, 2014

THE NEW MISS ELISA K.


I am Unashamed about my relationship with Christ... but only recently. And only because I finally realized that I had to include him in everything, including the blog. This blog is me. I started the blog to chronicle my journey into the fashion industry but God had other plans. The blog, in turn, began to chronicle my growth, my real life, and my emotions. I showcased the things that influence my thinking daily. I'm finally at a point where I am tired of fighting God on my purpose. He wants me to talk about Him. He wants me to make Him the focal point of all I do. I have realized that I know nothing at all about life and what it means. I have to re-learn everything and it is shaking up my world like no other. Nothing is normal. My relationships are falling apart and some are growing stronger. Even though I finally know who I am in Christ, I have absolutely no idea what is supposed to evolve from this point of realization. All I know is that Christ influences my thoughts, my life, my creativity, the music I listen to, my interest in fashion, my passions, and my daily life. I just want people to know that whatever you think about me or have made up in your mind about Elisa, erase it. Honestly, everyday, no matter how yesterday went, I enter into my daily interactions with every human, no matter what religion they profess, with an understanding that we are all children of God. I am an imperfect child of God and serve Jesus Christ with my whole life. I fall, yes. I stumble, yes. I try my best, yes. Don't give up on whatever you feel is divinely and spiritually propelling you forward. This is me not giving up when I feel I have every reason to. I thank Jesus for this platform and opportunity. Thank you for reading. I want to infect you with the Love of Christ. If you can feel Him when you reach the home page, that's all that matters. I am not erasing old posts because they signify the fact that we all have a past and that Christians are real people who make real mistakes who live real lives who made a decisions to have a real relationship with the real  Jesus Christ.
So thank you for everything and I hope you enjoy The NEW Miss Elisa K.

Thursday, March 13, 2014

PASS THE TEST

Romans 8:24-25 NLT  We were given this hope when we were saved. (If we already have something, we don't need to hope for it. But if we look forward to something we don't yet have, we must wait patiently and confidently.)

Hello All! I've missed you. But today I've come with my tail between my legs, for lack of a better analogy. My name is Elisa and I am an emotional soultie-er. I get too emotionally involved and/or emotional attached to people, mainly men (I have had the same problem in friendships also), that God doesn't want me to. I am so blinded by what I think I want, that I ignore all of God's warnings. And then when I finally realize it, God has to break the soultie, which causes me even more pain. A soultie is a spiritual intertwining of souls which can occur during moments of vulnerability between two people. Now, I am embarassed and I feel stupid. But I felt led to write this post because I know other girls are going, have gone, and will go through this.

I recently really liked a guy but I just realized he didn't like me. There were a few glimmers of hope or instances in which I thought it was mutual. But it was mostly me pursuing him (mistake) and me putting forth effort. This has happened to me before when I was not living for Christ. I failed the test of the lesson I was suppose to learn. I feel like this has happened again because Christ really wants me to pass this test. So for the sake of jumping back and forth, Guy A will be the guy from my past of whom I failed the first test. Guy B will be my present test I need to evaluate so that I can pass this test.

Like Guy A, I really like Guy B. They were nice to me, showed a just little bit of interest but that was enough for me. Guy A, back then, had everything I wanted in a man, but I know he wasn't what God wanted. He was FINE. He had swag for days. He had a car. I knew we would have cute babies. But most of all he liked me and he thought I was pretty, for a moment. He could smell good girl all over me and he became very hesitant to move forward with me (I thank God for that now). He wasn't what God wanted for me because he wasn't saved, he drank, and smoked. I knew he wasn't exactly what God wanted but, I just held out hope because he was what I wanted. Guy B was also very nice to me and he too showed a bit of interest, but I think he smelled desperation on me and he grew hesitant. He was what I wanted because he loves God, he was patient, very nice, and cute. I could see his purpose and I saw ways in which he could help me come into my purpose (which is wrong and backwards; Christ has to give me my purpose before he can align it with someone else's purpose).  However, I also realized early on that he may not be what God has for me. God gave me specific instructions that the man who would be my husband would be close to my age (Guy B wasn't; this is still hard for me understand because I am very mature for my age and men seem not to mature as quickly as women. I've always liked and had more in common with older guys). God also said that the man who would be my husband would actively pursue me as he does Jesus Christ (Guy B didn't; he was always so busy, so he said).

So I failed the test with Guy A because when I realized God was removing him, I just wouldn't let the Lord break the soultie. Every time a guy would leave my life, my thoughts would go back to him. When I was upset about being alone, I would annihilate his character. And then in the same breath, I would miss him and want to be around him. I would think of any reason to call him and stay in contact with him. I reached out to him multiple times and I can count on my fingers the amount of times he reached out to me. I constantly checked his social media to see what was going on in his life. Instead of drawing closer to Christ, I tried to look for Guy A to fill these voids. I kept this soultie going for years only to end it recently. It began to die as my love for Christ grew. It was obliterated when I saw him post on his facebook status (he never posts anything on facebook or overly shares) that he was now in a relationship. It finally clicked: He was never my Adam.

Guy B was slightly different but really the same (I am now growing in my walk with Christ during this time). So when Guy B out the gate showed me he wasn't interested (I got stood up for an outing; don't even know if I can call it a date because I initated it. FAIL. FAIL. FAIL.), I was hurt, I was confused, but I fell back. I didn't want to keep pushing towards someone who wasn't interested but was (makes no sense then and makes no sense now). So fast forward, he came back into my life, we began to click, and just understand each other (first time I've experienced conversational lush; yes, it is real). But then all of sudden when things were getting better and he was reaching out more, he abruptly stopped communicating. Now, I really wanted  to go back to my old ways but I couldn't do it. Instead of kicking into Inspector Gadget mode, stalking and hunting him down, I fell  back slowly. I would contact him only if I really felt like it was on my heart to contact him. If he was short, I was short. I tried to just take his hints. I didn't check on his social media. I just prayed for him and prayed for the Lord to remove him from my heart. However, all the while deep down, I still wanted him to like me as I liked him. I wanted him to be the one because I know my Adam is near and he has to be the one because no one else is showing any fruit on their tree and no one else is even remotely interested from what I can tell. He has to be it... right God? I thought maybe he just really is too busy. Maybe he's scared of something. Maybe I just need to wait a little longer. But then the Lord said stop contacting him all together and I listened. I just began to take everything in prayer. Fast forward to my church's week of prayer last week. I felt utterly alone that week. God revealed so much to me but it was also draining in the sense of this is really my life right now. The power of God was so heavy on me but my issues and hurts seemed just as heavy. I also had to preach that Sunday, so I just wasn't talking to anyone for real. I realized that I really had no close, best friends any more even though that was a desire on my heart (all of my friends will look twice at this; I'm not saying we are not friends. I am just saying I don't have any mutual best friend relationships where we are super close and super tight). I also realized that the lie I was telling myself of being just friends with Guy B is a lie because men and women can't be friends. Therefore, I couldn't justify starting to reach out to him again because during this time I felt lonely and had no one else to understand me. I just continuously prayed "Lord, your will be done. Who ever is suppose to be here, whatever I am suppose to have, I don't want it unless it is what you want." So Sunday, I preached. It wasn't as groundbreaking a moment as one may think; the whole time I was like, I should have told Guy B so he could be present. But I quickly knocked down that lie, and remembered what Christ told me about a man pursuing me. The Lord also revealed a piece of my purpose to me (I don't know if it's a piece or if I am not really ready to accept the full scope of my purpose). So Monday morning, I wake up. Feeling easier in my spirit, and truly submitted to Christ. I get to work, and I am grinding because it was one of the busiest days I had in a long time. During my lunch break, I go to Facebook to check out if I have any communication from anyone (I took Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram of my phone a month ago because the Lord instructed me to grow closer to him and that everything I have, even my phone, had to give him glory. Sounds crazy but that's what he told me). I wanted to go to Guy B's page but I stopped myself. And I said no I don't want to be that girl again. But the Lord said "Go, I want to show you something. Really pay attention." So I go on his page and I saw that he isn't as busy as he says. While I am home praying, hoping, wishing, and waiting, he has been out with the same woman twice. Now I don't know anything about the relationship to assume what it really is (because nothing is as it seems). But what really hit me was that it wasn't me. Even though he said he was so busy and had so much going on, he was making time to do what he wanted to do but none of that included at least even contacting me to see if I'm breathing. Then it clicked: He was never my Adam.

Guy A and Guy B were never my Adam, the man that God has chosen to be my husband. If I am only suppose to be one and tie souls with my future husband, I had no business ever getting attached to these men emotionally as if I had ownership over them. With Guy A, I failed that test misrerably and I wasted years of my life. Guy B, I felt like the Lord took me through this situation again so that I can adequately evaluate the decisions I make and the predicaments that allow myself to get into. I am not going to fail this test, I will pass this test. I am going to let him go. I am going to move on. I am going pray for him if he stumbles into my head or heart. I am not going to be shady if I see him; I am going to treat him with brotherly, Christian love. I am not going to stalk his social media profiles and I am not going to be consumed with thoughts of what if. I am not going to annihilate his character. He is still a hardworking, God-fearing, good, patient man. HE JUST AIN'T MY MAN. I am going to walk in my purpose and wait for God to send his best my way.

I am only sharing this now because I don't care about how people view me or my past. As long as I know that what I am saying is freeing someone else, I will share my experiences. Young, precious, beautiful, and awesome women, we have to stop allowing ourselves to be controlled by our emotions. If we trust God with our hearts, futures, and desires, worry, desperation, loneliness, and discontentment won't creep into our hearts. We have to stop tying ourselves emotionally to men, friends, material things, our past, money, our family issues, addictions, and anything else we use to fill voids. Christ wants to fill our voids. He wants to consume our hearts and thoughts. Let the Lord pour His grace and love on you and let Him fill you. I am determined to listen to God, submit, and follow Him. Let the Lord lead you out of the emotional wreckage you created. PASS THE TEST THIS TIME. I love you girl. We have to remind each other we are beautifully and wonderfully made. SMOOCHES XOXO

Friday, February 14, 2014

Dear Neighbor


Dear Neighbor a poem by Elisa Wiah

Over and Over
Let me in
But because of hurt you hold within
I can't push it away as much as I try
Even though I can imagine everything you are trying to hide
But it's not fair
I was prepared to unlock the door
My pains were caught off guard
But you won't even knock
Maybe it is best this way
Give every scar a chance to fade
So waiting is fine, since neither have a say
Someone must enter before you
One who is not afraid
He's seen the mess others have left behind
He's helped me clean from time to time
He always answers when you choose not to open your door
He's always walking through my door
He's at home
He's says he has done the same for you
A good neighbor
Won't tell about all your mess but urges me to pray for you
To give you strength as you clean
To give you rest at night while you rather chase dreams
So when ever you are ready to stop by neighbor
I always have warm honey, cookies, and tea
So when you are ready, we will be here
No need to knock
Proceed

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Thursday, January 30, 2014

YFBFB: KARIMA OF SKINNY MINORITY BLOG

Hey Lovelies!!! No long introductions needed! I think you all are pretty familiar with my YFBFB posts. Today, I have a new fave for you all and she is absolutely a gem. Karima Renee is definitely one of Your Favorite Blogger's Favorite Blogger and she is representing for the Size Sexy Ladies and all the Curvy Girls! Most importantly, she is a boss! Blogger, Stylist, PSB President, YouTube Guru, Diva, Healthy Foodie; she does it all with ease! She is pretty much doing her thing here in Philadelphia. Check out the interview below to learn more about the girl behind The Skinny Minority brand.

Introduce yourself and your blog. 
My name is Karima Renee; I'm a fashion and style expert. My brand and blog, Skinny Minority is my daily source of personal style inspiration for curvy girls and women everywhere.

How long have you been a blogger and how did you come up with the idea to become one?
I've been a blogger for 3.5 years. I started on Tumblr when my former publicist put blogging on my To Do list.

Why did you choose to blog about your experiences, tips, and tricks as a Curvy Girl Stylist?
Nina Garcia, once said " whatever you do in life should have meaning... and if it doesn't touch/inspire the lives of others [what good is it]." My experience being a size 16/18 on the set of many photoshoots inspired me. It made me want to make a place for other girls like me. That along with my struggle to love my body made my passion and purpose real. Combining those things birthed Skinny Minority and I had a niche!

What/Who is your greatest inspiration when it comes to thinking of new and interesting posts? Everyday women who wear a size 14 or larger. I think about their needs, questions I get asked. I look at their struggles. My reader is Ty from Clueless not Cher or Dionne. Hello, I'm Cher... helping the world be a better place through fashion! LOL





What are your Favorite Blogger Must-Haves and why?
Blogger must haves, I don't know. But my style must haves are basic classics. 1. A tailored boyfriend blazer, 2. A Vintage Dress, I collect them, 3. Nude pointy toe pump, 4. Good Butt Skinny Jeans, 5. A bold handbag



You are the president of Philly Style Bloggers, a collective group of Bloggers in the Philadelphia Tri-State area actively working to increase both bloggers presence and influence. How important is networking with other bloggers, especially in your local community?
Its extremely important! Blogging is a business and like business... your only has good as your network. However, also like business you have to keep enemies closer than your friends. Blogging can be very catty and petty. However, I chose to bypass most of that and build a community where my bloggers and I come from a place of yes!

What are three Curvy Girl Trends that are a must for Spring 2014?

- Monochromatic looks with Bright Colors
- Maxi Skirts and crop tops
- Super stretch boyfriend jeans

Any advice for any bloggers or anyone who wants to become one?
- Take your time to build and learn your audience
- Plan your editorial calendar
- Don't be afraid to make changes to anything
- Use Wordpress.... Its just better


Thank you so much Karima Renee for the interview! And thank you my awesome readers. Follow Karima everywhere on the net and check out her blog today!

http://skinnyminorityblog.com/
https://www.facebook.com/skinnyminority
http://www.pinterest.com/skinnyminority/
https://twitter.com/SkinnyMinority
https://www.youtube.com/user/RaineyKids1

Love and SMOOCHES XOXO

Wednesday, January 22, 2014

NY ROADTRIP TO NEWFILMMAKERS SHORT FILM SERIES

 Hey Friends! Last week I attended NewFilmmakers' 16th Winter Season kick-off in New York City! The Short Film Program featured a film I worked on last year, Abyss: The Best Proposal Ever by Nicole Ayers. The short films featured were Cutout by Shyam Kannan, David at Daytime by Jason Pierre, and Red by Channing Godfrey Peoples. While all of the movies were phenomenal, I must say that the female filmmakers represented for the ladies! Red was a cinematographer's dream and the story just flowed naturally out of the heart of Texas. I really felt the main character's pain as we all are on a search for something. Red's search for her grandmother fur coat paralleled her search within for self-realization. Channing Godfrey Peoples created a classic short film. And I can't forget the movie that made our excursion possible. Nicole Ayers' film, Abyss, was dynamic. I laughed, I was shocked, and I had pity on the main character as his perfect proposal went south. Stuck on the streets of Philly waiting on Septa with his hilarious friend Manny, Eric's post-war trauma begins to collide with the pain of deception. The end result is one no one expects as the film progresses.

I had so much fun traveling with good people like Aleywa Taylor, Quincy Ennis, and Nicole Ayers. We talked the whole way down and the whole way back. We don't need no music! We are just crazy but that makes for the best times. We really cut up on set and you can see all of the behind the scene antics on the Abyss Youtube Channel. But the best part of our trip was the chicken. Blue Ribbon Chicken that is. I literally will go back to New York for the crispy chicken and all the lovely honey based sauces. The restaurant concept was just so simple it worked. And those loaded fries just gave me life. So happy it was just literally across the street from the Anthology Film Archives (that didn't stop us from getting lost though).

 

Working on the film was one thing, but seeing the end result is like getting kissed after the first date that you enjoyed but wasn't sure if the other person had a good time and you two are both super nervous. But in the end, it is confirmed with that good night kiss! Being at the film festival was the best confirmation of putting your best foot forward! SMOOCHES XOXO

FOOD FOR THOUGHT: EX MARKS THE PAST

Hey You! I pray that your past doesn't creep into your future. People try to time travel when they see you doing well now without them. Remember when you were with them, the relationship set you back. They may have temporarily forgot it but don't you! Forgive them but leave them in the time capsule. SMOOCHES XOXO

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Wednesday, January 8, 2014

FOOD FOR THOUGHT: THE REALEST

Hey Guys! Can I be real with you all? I feel that if you read this blog, you have earned the right to know my truths. Have you ever felt like you don't recognize anyone around you, even yourself? That's how I've been feeling lately. The only thing that hasn't changed is Christ, his goodness. The one thing that is getting better is my relationship with him. Thankfully. Things aren't worst, just different. Things are changing and shifting but I am trying to grasp and hold on to how things used to be. Or more so how I want them to be. I really want to move forward, and I am. You guys see me blogging more and I have released The Elisa Show, and I got much more coming. But I am doing all this out God's strength in me. I am floating above myself looking at my life's routine like it is an out-of-body experience. I feel like I haven't felt any real emotions since my grandpa passed away. Like every emotion since then has been one I felt before and as a result, it is not important to dwell on. I've never experienced the pain of losing someone until my grandpa passed away. And while everything was going on, I felt like I wasn't given the time to adequately feel the emotions and to let them out. So since then I haven't really felt anything. Desire, jealousy, joy, anger, passion, sadness, greed, love... they have all passed by here but I don't give them too much attention.They just don't have any merit to stand up against the unknown. Especially if I've experienced these feelings before in similar scenarios. Now, yes I could write a soft, whimsical, thoughtful post, but that would not be realistic. I am Christian, I love the Lord, I pray everyday, I try to read my bible everyday, I am faithful in my church, I am abstinent, all because I want to and it feels good to finally be sure about that part of my life. But finding Elisa has been rough. It took me long time to like myself as I was. And as soon as I get comfortable, God says, "I have to show you some things about yourself that you are going to have to change." He is showing me everything I've accepted or tucked away. So since I don't want to feel all the cutting and removing of these layers, I've been acting like a robot. Because the change is going to come whether I want it to or not; that's just apart of your walk with Him when you decide to go all in. So I am seeing everything on the surface and then drilling down on all the pieces. Every time I do something wrong, I am instantly convicted in my spirit. My mind feels like a computer and the days just run away from me. I am seeing people for who they really are and they aren't recognizing who I am.

I say all this to say: WE CAN'T BE PERFECT. Loving Christ will break you, change you, build you up, and give you peace. But it won't be perfect. You won't feel perfect all the time. As believers, I feel we sometimes give false hopes. I now know why I haven't had any successful romantic relationships. I couldn't even have a real relationship with Christ. I had him all twisted. My love for him was conditional and based on rules. If I follow the rules, you will do this for me. If I don't,  then I understand the consequences. They should get what they deserve for what they did to me and I will be victorious because I was right. But as soon as I began to have nothing and I was following all of the rules and justice wasn't being served to my enemies, I turned my back on him. How selfish is it for me to conditionally love someone who loves me unconditionally? It was selfish but it is easy to be selfish when you don't know someone. You just know what God can do for you but you don't take the time to read and learn about all he did for you. How he died for you. You don't talk to him and allow him to actually influence your mind and heart. You are just with Him out of convenience. You know how most of us do, girls. "He a baller! I can get me some new Jays, my gold X and O set, and I'm good. If he don't, he ain't getting none. If he get the Jays, I may break him off a lil somethin." Sound familiar?! We can't buy Christ's love, so he is not going to try to sell and convince you. He has already proven it all and left it on the cross. You have to be ride-or-die for Christ's love. When you balling and when the checks aren't coming. When you're happy and when you're sad. When you are sure and when you are confused. All day, everyday, no matter what. You're not going to feel like being bothered some days and some days you will be so head over heels. But I promise you, when you look up and everyone and everything begins to look unfamiliar, Christ will be the realest thing in the room. SMOOCHES XOXO

Get to know Christ for yourself.

Thursday, January 2, 2014

FOOD FOR THOUGHT: A PRAYER FOR THE ABUSED

Hello Loved Ones! My last Food For Thought post on gratefulness had me thinking immediately after I posted. I wrote about going through the bad now and allowing it to shape your tomorrow. I thought about those who were being abused sexually, physically, and verbally. How does a child being molested take control over the situation? How does a women who's life is threaten daily make a decision to move forward? I have no answers for this. But I did want to pray for those whose options for freedom seems nonexistent.

Dear Heavenly Father, I come to You repenting of every sin as I am not worthy. I come to You on behalf of those being abused sexually, physically, and verbally. Lord, please deliver them. God, show Yourself real in their lives. Lord, in the midst of it all, keep Your blood covered over them. Let the healing power in Your blood allow them to start over again after this ordeal. Lord, give them hope and restore their faith. Dear Lord, I don't understand why Your people are afflicted in ways as this at times but then I remember who You are and what You are capable of doing. Lord, restore their entire lives. Don't let them turn to drugs, alcohol, promiscuity, or any other addictive behaviors to numb their pain. Dear Jesus, don't let them turn to suicide to end their misery. Lord God, please show them a way out and fast. Send Your angels to guard them Lord. Lord, just recover all that was stolen from them, all the joy and peace. Please restore it all God. Lord, just let them know You and let Your love be greater than it all. In Jesus' precious name we pray, AMEN.

All I can say is be kind and attentive, because you don't know what people are going through. They may need your light just to make it through. SMOOCHES XOXO