Tuesday, April 22, 2014


Hello All! I wrote this a few months ago when I made a mistake that was eating me alive.

I was mad at myself because it was something I've been praying about; I really want God to remove it from my heart. Among many issues that I have, recently I have come into this habit of talking about people. I never used to talk about people. I am in a place where I feel lonely and I have felt alone for a long time. I tried to open up but I feel like people were using me, making assumptions, and talking about me behind my back. Well, hurt people hurt people. I still have to be around those same people and it is hard for me to shake the bitterness and it is beginning to have no respect of person. I am still technically alone here and I don't really have any close friends to confide in. Emotionally, I word vomit and it is killing me but I do it anyway. It's like I finally get an open ear and someone to listen to me. Only to find, they really don't care and telling them was really a big mistake.Trust me, I am not making excuses for myself. I AM WRONG for talking about people. It is not right Period. Point. Blank. But thank God, I serve Jesus Christ. He forgives me of my sins and I can pick up my cross again today and try harder to have a purer heart. Now, if your mistakes aren't eating you alive, you know you are just going to do it again, and you don't want to try, than this blog post isn't for you. This blog post is for those who have been convicted in their spirits because God is trying to pick the bad things out of their heart, while molding and shaping them for their futures. Here are a few tips to help you recover from mistakes:

1. Acknowledge you made a mistake. As soon as I had slipped and said what was truly in my emotions, I knew I was wrong. I apologized and said "you know, what I just said wasn't right. I shouldn't have done that." God can't correct you unless you open up your heart and let Him. If you tell Him you want to change, He is going to start showing you the things you need to change. Confess it to Him because He already knows. He just wants to be sure that you realize it's not of Him and that it has to go.

2. No one sin is bigger than the other. If you are measuring sin, yours compared to someone elses, your little sins compared to the big ones you've been delivered from, you might as well start measuring the steps to heaven and hell. Then weigh the amount of love it takes for one to die for the sins of countless people He knows who will sin perpetually until the end of time. In order to get closer to Christ, you have to know His heart and want to mirror what's in it. Not one sin is in His heart so each and every last sin hurts Him. Conviction doesn't work if you don't accept the severity of your actions.

3. Pray. Pray and ask God to give you a pure and clean heart. Ask Him to remove everything that is not like Him. Ask God to move in its place. Tell Him to give you wisdom to find better ways to deal with the void that what you did was suppose to fill or cover up. I've been praying for a while about gossiping and God finally caught me in my tracks about it. I am learning to roll all my cares off of me and on to Christ in prayer.

4. Speaking of  voids, you have to Guard Your Heart from negative seeds. There is always a void where a seed was planted from which sins and mistakes stem from. You have to be careful what you listen to and what you watch because it all affects your heart. Like I stated earlier, I felt alone and I felt like everyone was against me. I began to do what I thought everyone was doing to me. Where did I get that from? Probably from some reality show with housewives spreading rumors amongst each other about each other. Or better yet, some love song with a line that goes something like "I want you to feel how I felt." We are to love each other, even when someone does you wrong. Revenge is the Lord's, not ours. Now the scripture seed is one to plant.

5. Read your bible. Like I just said, plant scripture seeds in your heart. If you keep an arsenal of scriptures handy for anything you are going through, you will begin to not turn to your sinful nature or make mistakes you have made before. You will instead begin to triumph over the tests and trials because you have researched how someone else passed or failed the same test in the bible. EVERYTHING is in the bible. They hide the truth in books people :)

6. Don't beat yourself up. I am the worst with this. It's hard for me to recover from the bad things I've done, even after I have done all of the above. But then I remember that Jesus died on the cross for every sin I will ever make. Beating myself up about it is equivalent to not believing that He heals the broken. I am not saying take advantage of His gift of forgiveness but I am saying don't waste time dwelling on the past. I began to see my mistakes as lessons, I learn from them, and I do my work so I can have a better chance of passing the test the next time it comes around. You gotta move forward in your walk.

In life, you are going to do bad things, sin, and make mistakes every day. But everyday you have to trust God, learn, roll your cares on to Him, pick up your cross, and you two keep walking. And classically put, it's not the mistakes you make but how you recover from them. Let's recover with grace from anything that had us bound! Jesus Loves You, SMOOCHES XOXO

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