Monday, September 1, 2014


Hey People! So, I just had a mini breakdown. I've had a lot on my back and I just broke under the pressure of it all. All of my life, I've thought about what other people thought of me and my decisions. I never put what I want first. If I'm discouraged by someone in a thing that I love to do, it stops me from doing it. I don't do things that make me happy but instead I do what other people approve of so that I could have some support opposed to none. I've come to realize that I have been doing everything I don't want to do for people's approval only to be alone majority of the time and to not have support in any of my endeavors. I watched a video today by Youtube Beauty Guru, Peakmill. She said that when it's your time to shine, shine and don't let anyone stop you or discourage you. They don't know where you been and what you had to do to get there. It may not be your time but you have to be patient. Support others and let them shine. I have no issues with being patient and waiting on God because I know that when it is my time only he can open the door. And I always support other people. I help so much that I almost always end up feeling used and sacrificing all I want to do. My grandmother said I just need to do some things for me but that is difficult. I get so discouraged when I pursue my endeavors and they fail. People keep asking me to do things because I do them well. It's frustrating when I can make things happen for others but I can't make anything happen for myself. I sometimes just want to give up on all my dreams and just spend my time doing everything that everyone else wants me to do. I feel like why keep going God when I keep failing? You put all this in my heart, it's what I love to do. So why can't I be successful? What is my real purpose?

I'm sharing my issue but this time not with revelation of a solution. I'm just sharing. The story of Job has been on mind all week. He was in a low point in his life and he lost everything. His wife thought he was insane to keep serving God. His friends kept trying to find out if he was really living for Christ, accused him of being a liar, judged him, and tried to tell him his bad time was brought on my something he did. But Job wasn't moved. He kept praising God through the low times. He poured all of his cares onto God. God proved himself by the end of Job's trying test. In the end, Job was restored with everything he lost and more. When Job could have gave up on himself because he felt like a failure, he instead had hope. I'm getting this all off of my chest to let you know that this test is just that, a test. It will end, and you will get through it. God will prove himself. You may feel like you are failing the test but you will pass. All your gifts, your grace, your blessings, and your hope are not all used up. You may feel all used up by people and the challenges of life but God is going to restore you. My Bishop just said this Sunday to work your dry season and then you will be prepared when God opens a window in your season of harvest. Keep going and don't quit. Do what the Lord put in your heart and he will make a way. Sometimes you have to encourage yourself as you encourage others. This is me encouraging myself and reminding myself that I am not all used up. Everything I am going through is preparing me and the Lord is going to bless me. I just have to keep going even though I don't see a positive ending or even a logical solution. And he is going to bless you too. We just have to have faith and remember who our God is. Keep your head up, SMOOCHES XOXO

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  1. I'm loving this post! Thanks for being transparent and honest about the struggle lol. This was on time and encouraging to me :-) God bless!

    1. Thanks Jacqueline! I appreciate your reading and commenting. It means a lot. And I think we all should be real about our walks with Christ because we have testimonies only for others to be encouraged. So I'm so glad it encouraged you. Keep moving in Christ girl!!!!!!!!!!!


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