Wednesday, April 29, 2015


Hello Beauty!! Yes, I said Beauty, because you are! The Lord and I have had many conversations about this lately because I am a girl. I want to feel pretty, look pretty (to myself and others; preferably my Boaz wherever he may be whenever he finds me), and I want to be on fleek ;) But the dominating question is how do you define beauty, pretty, and fleek. Society has a very clear view (in America it's "exotic" lips, hips, and butts, long hair, perfect nails, perfect eyebrows, perfect makeup, unique but not too different personal style, flat, cinched stomachs and waists). After all, if you don't got it, get it, and flaunt it, right?

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Well, to back track, I was thinking about these things because I have natural hair (Type 4, C, but I have heat damage in the back and the curl pattern in my crown is looser). My hair just felt so unmanageable because it takes me hours to do it in a way that is "acceptable" and doesn't last me long at all (wash, twist early enough so that they can dry the next day, then take down and fluff to oblivion; that last 5 days. I don't redo it and then my hair gets matted). At the time, I really wasn't caring about my appearance due to being overwhelmed and busy. But since I wanted to look and felt I had to look "presentable," I tried wigs. I loved them, but I felt like I was hiding. I wore straight wigs or more curly, wavy wigs, not kinky, coily like my hair. And the only reason was because the looser the curl pattern, the less work you have to do to manage it. I didn't want a wig that required more work than my own hair. The whole point was to do no hair. However, I got too many compliments and it made me feel bad. I am complimented for my wigs and told I look better in my wigs than I do the way my hair grows out of my scalp? I knew this was just a societal norm that some people can't get past but it still hurt. A part of me wanted to just be Black Power, forget society, all natural everything, free your mind, and the rest will follow. But another part of me wanted to be complimented, to be pretty and feel pretty, to look like the other girls, to get likes on Instagram, and to be accepted.

Then I realized, God, I never included you in this decision. Why didn't I just ask you? You made me, you know me, and you know my hair. You know where I'm going so you know what my style needs to be. You know my financial situation so you know what I can afford. So, I talked to God about my beauty routine! Who would have thunk it?! We've came to the conclusion that what I want, need, and is best for me is inexpensive ease. So weaves and wigs, unless it is a special occasion is out the window. Braids, not out the window but on hold until I find a professional who is accessible and gentle with my natural hair. Then I told the Lord, "You know, I could just get a relaxer. Maybe even get a short cut because I always wanted one. It's just hair." And he said "No, take time to do your hair like you used to." And I was shocked! I was like really. Not only would my hair be mine and inexpensive but it would be easier to do. Why would the Lord, tell me that? And then I remembered physically, my hair had very bad reactions to relaxer when I was younger and my hair broke off often. Spiritually, having straight, long hair was a mental thing for me. I now know that hair was an idol for me. I felt as long as my hair was done, my edges were laid, I'm cute. I didn't seek Christ for beauty; I sought the "Just For Me" box. I transitioned to natural hair when I gave my life back to Christ and I was transitioning into a holier lifestyle. I didn't plan it that way but God did. I had to learn to love myself all over again through His eyes. I had to see myself the way He sees me. Then I said, "Okay Lord what about makeup? I know I should do something, but I don't like it. You know my acne trips on me." He said, "Well start with those lip butters so it would be just like putting on lip balm for you. Maybe invest in a nice foundation you can wear some days but not everyday." I was intrigued, "Lord, what about my nails and eyebrows. I want to get them done professionally but I feel bad spending money to get them done. Grandma doesn't get her nails done anymore. I'd rather her get her nails done and feet done than me." Then the Lord said, "You and Grandma go together. Spend time with her and treat her. Don't worry about money. I provide all of your needs." I said well we might as well cover all bases. "Lord, what about my style. I want to change it to fit my personality. I know you said don't worry about money but I don't know where to start." He responded, "You are going to have to let a lot of things go that you already have. You know how to shop. Use good judgement."

Just like that, in true beauty guru form, the Lord revamped my entire beauty routine! Now this wasn't one conversation. The Lord talked to be about this (among many other things including my spiritual walk, faith and trust in Him, being more positive, letting go of worry, watching my mouth) as I sought Him daily over the last month. Now if you're reading this, I'm not saying that relaxed hair, makeup, expensive clothes, weaves, waist cinchers, or anything like that is bad or sinful. I'm not making myself a holy standard of beauty either. What I am saying is that even your beauty decisions should include Christ. How you look and everything else about you is supposed to glorify the Lord. Your looks aren't to entice men. Your looks aren't to impress other women. Beauty additives shouldn't be used for you to hide behind. They shouldn't be used to boost a low self-esteem. This is about to sound so cliche, but God made you in His image. Don't you think that the awesome God you serve is and will be beautiful (when we get to heaven). So therefore, you are beautiful. And one last cliche, beauty comes from the inside. No matter what your hair looks like, what you can afford, or how on fleek you are, your love for others, your confidence, your joy, and your character define your beauty.

So don't get caught up in the hype of "society" or even what everyone else is doing. Seek God in all things, but even in adorning your beauty. Think about it this way: if you aren't married here on earth, we are all the bride to Jesus. You want to be beautiful to Him, your husband. So ask Him what He wants to see. Not only will he deal with your outer appearance but he will begin to revamp your heart and spirit as well. He's going to show you that you are already fly on the outside. I hope you know it. SMOOCHES XOXO

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