Wednesday, April 22, 2015

#FOODFORTHOUGHT: I WON'T TURN BACK

I have been asking God for 3 things lately. 1) Wisdom, 2) Strength, and 3) To show me what I am supposed to learn during this season. I really love the Lord, and he is picking so much stuff out of my heart and spirit. So much so, it hurts. I really thought it would feel good knowing that I am a better person and living holy but it literally hurts. Don't get me wrong; my spirit is at peace and I have real joy in my heart. My mind is set on heaven and Christ. But I am being attacked in my flesh daily here on Earth. THE TESTS. Bruh. Deny myself, turn the other cheek, apologize though I did nothing wrong, lose friends, being alone. With every win, there's a loss. I see other people living and doing as they please in the world and they are just having fun. Yea, the things of this world are fleeting. But because we serve a good God, they can do their thing, turn back to Christ and He will accept them as His own. Why can't I go do my thing while I'm young and come back when I'm ready? But I've come to far to give up on Him and my progress, right?


I know this may seem like the craziest thing in the world but even with all the hell you face while you serve God, there is too much favor. I could never turn away from Christ, even if I stumble. If I were to leave God now, there is no "Save" button. Everything I've done to perfect my heart will be lost. I remember how broken I was. Yea, I had fun moments that my flesh enjoyed. But for the most part, I remember being worried, tired, sad, scared, lost, unwanted, poor. I felt like I was empty and like I had nothing to give.

Christ changed all that when I decided to give my heart back to Him at 21. Yes, young and fine. I've been told why am I wasting my life? Why am I doing so many "good deeds" when I could be doing me? For a long time, that thinking made me question myself and it made me stumble on my walk with Christ. I didn't know the answer and I felt like in some ways they were right. Yet, I was reminded with every broken yoke, generational curse undone, miracle, blessing, and bad habit weened out of my spirit, that He has the answers to everything.

Now, I know the answer. God called me to do something now that I can't do when I'm 40. I won't be able to relate with teen girls and girls in their twenties. I won't be free from some of the responsibilities and even health issues that tend to slow you down as we age. My purpose, as for all of us, is to win souls. I'm called to do it through sharing my life and pouring into other young women like myself now. So If I have to minister to a teen girl, I have to be delivered from self-esteem issues, disobedience, and fear now. If I have to minister to another 24 year old woman like myself, all my trust has to Christ, and I can't idolize lustful acts, my body, a man, my appearance, and money.

When God calls you, know He has a plan. You have to know that it won't be easy and that you will go through some things. However, you have to know that it is bigger than you. Even if you were born to just bring one person to Christ by living in your calling, that's one life at stake if you are not obedient. And there are real treasures in living for God when you are young. If I am called to be a wife, the Lord will send me one of His good sons who has been prepared specifically for me to help Him. I won't be confused by someone who is nice at the moment, doesn't love God as I do, and never was meant to be my husband. If I am called to be a mother, my children will know that they have a holy mother who has always lived for the Lord. I won't be perfect but they won't be able to say, "Well before mom got saved, we saw her do this or that." If the Lord is calling me to be someone's boss, all of the tests I am submitting myself  to now as a servant of the Lord will prepare me to adequately handle a staff firmly and professionally yet with the compassion of Christ.

So I said all that to say, if you are living for Him while you are yet young and want to be free, don't stop, don't quit, don't turn back. Just keep your focus on Christ and all the treasures that will touch your life here on Earth as well as in Heaven. SMOOCHES XOXO

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