Saturday, July 25, 2015


"For God loved the world so much that he gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life. (John 3:16 NLT)

Hey People! My birthday has come, and it came pretty fast. So much has happened in a year; 24 was a whirlwind. However, I learned so much about myself. I really grew in my relationship with Christ. I began to live out what I've been called to do and I have been doing it the way in which the Lord has instructed me to. I really had to trust God this year. I really had to lean on God. I had to grow a tougher skin. I had to get used to being alone yet content with the season. In the past, I have always been alone. I've had more seasons being alone than I've had with lots of people in my life. But in those seasons, I was always depressed, sad, lonely, and angry with God. At this point in my life, I have matured and I realized that if God put me in a season it is for a reason and for my best interest. Am I comfortable? Nah. But I now want to be wherever the Lord wants me to be. I have real joy. I find myself smiling for no reason; I'm still working on smiling more often but baby steps :) I am grateful. I am more open-minded and less judgmental. I am forgiving others, forgiving myself, giving situations to God, and really letting go. I like how I look and I love myself. I still have to work on my people pleasing and worrying about what people think of me and my decisions. But even that has improved because I know in my heart I am seeking God and letting Him lead every action. So instead of feeling criticized, I just remind myself that these aren't Elisa decisions, these are God decisions. I understand that my steps are ordered by Him. Clearly, I couldn't have orchestrated anything that has happened in my life. So if people don't understand it, don't like it, or think I should take it a different route, they are now questioning God's will and not my plans. This year I realized, I have no plan. I wish I really did. I have a plan but I don't know what God is going to do. Not having a tangible plan in business confuses people so I know I have to put something on paper lol. However, this is God's baby that He allowed me to birth. So whatever He tells me to change, I am going to yield. Finally, literally a few days ago, I erased the numbers. You know, the numbers of the guys who you hope will miraculously think you are the one one day because they would be perfect for you. You communicate periodically to make sure you stay in their wavelength. I realized that I'm not fully trusting God with my love life by doing this. Plus, those men don't want me if they know me and still aren't pursuing me. It was hard but I really don't want my heart filled with mess. 24 was the year of development. The Lord really cleaned out my heart and yo it wasn't pretty. But it had to be done! And I am glad I just let the Lord take the reigns and I let go. I just got tired of the same cycles and generational curses. These things can't go where the Lord is going to take me in 25.

25. I am humbled. So many exciting and big things are happening! I am happy and grateful because the Lord is confirming what He told me and He is beginning to show me new things. For a minute, I wanted to be excited but I felt a cloud over everything. Every birthday past, I would get really depressed and lonely. I now realize that many of my friendships when I was younger were situational. So it was difficult to have huge birthday parties with tons of your school friends in the heart of summer. But the inferiority and loneliness of those summer birthdays, led into my young adulthood. I just didn't like my birthday. I wanted to celebrate but I never saw the point in doing so alone. Back to the present, there are always stressful issues that come along with the good things in your life. I almost thought that those stressful things were the clouds. But those were just tests. "The cloud" was the spirit of depression that came on schedule to lay on me as it does every year. The tests I went through recently were tests I failed in the past. As a result, those situations would cause the spirit of depression to fall on me. But not this time! I passed the tests. And depression will not lay on me and hover my birthday. Everything isn't perfect, but I thank God for life. When I want to think about all the bad things, I say this word: TEMPORARY. This life is so short. God sent me and YOU here to be an ambassador for Jesus Christ. More than I want money, a house, friends, and a man, I want to praise the Lord in eternity forever! So that means here on earth, I can't be distracted. I have to focus on Christ. I can't even focus too much on what the people in my life are doing. I can love them, minister to them, and support them as the Lord leads me. However, when I get to heaven and its just me and God, I have to answer for all of my actions. I have to do me. And doing me means following Jesus.

So 25 is turn up time. I am about to turn up my faith and turn up my prayer life. I am really going to continue to love Elisa, learn how to better myself, and take care of myself. I am going to enjoy my life as my workload has already been turned up. I have to live life, enjoy it, and not complain about not doing so. I have so much expectancy for 25. I just really want God's will to be done in my life. The difference from this year in comparison to every other year, my eyes are set on Christ and eternity. My eyes aren't focused on "what can I do to get where I want to be?" My mindset this year is "Lord, what do You want me to do to get where You want me to be?" So 25 years of life down, and now an eternity to go. SMOOCHES XOXO

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