Wednesday, October 14, 2015

I Don't Know Everything... And It's Okay

For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end. Then shall ye call upon me, and ye shall go and pray unto me, and I will hearken unto you. And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart. And I will be found of you, saith the Lord: and I will turn away your captivity, and I will gather you from all the nations, and from all the places whither I have driven you, saith the Lord; and I will bring you again into the place whence I caused you to be carried away captive. (Jeremiah 29:11-14 KJV)

Hello Sugar Muffins! The Lord is really pulling back many layers of my life and exposing the areas where I have to improve in order to get to the next level of my life. This is not the phase where the Lord is changing my everything and saving me from my own destruction. This is the phase where I've been saved for awhile and I've been obedient. The Lord opened many doors just to show me what He can do and that He is very real. Now, the Lord is showing me how to lead, how to take risks, and how to trust Him even when I don't see Him opening the doors. The Lord is refining me for something great. In my heart, this is what I know to be true. However, I don't have any hard proof or evidence that this is true or that it will even happen. So, if we base wisdom on facts, I don't know why anything in my life is happening as it is in this particular moment. And it's okay.

I know you are thinking, "Elisa, it is not okay! You are writing these posts, you are a mentor to young girls, and you say you hear God's voice. How can you say you don't know?!" Again, I have no answer for you. Does my not knowing and not being sure discredit all of the wisdom, advice, and life experiences I have shared with people? The hardest things about becoming an adult are realizing you can't do everything by yourself and that you don't know everything. For a long time, I fought this. I tried to learn as much as I could. I tried to gain knowledge and experience. I've tried to convince myself that I am mostly right most of the time. I've tried to think that I can do it all by myself (even if given a choice). But I can't and I don't. 

The only reassuring peace about this confusing and very scary point in my life is that I actually know what I want to do with the rest of my life. I know my purpose. I know what I've been called to do. The uneasy part of knowing what is not knowing how in the world it is going to come to pass. I literally don't have all the know-how or manpower to do everything the Lord has called me to do.

Yet, as I ramble about me and what I don't know, the Lord quietly reminds me of His word. God knows the plans He has for me. We have to realize we are here to do the Lord's work. We are His vessels. He really doesn't have to tell us anything about His plans at all. He could use us to do what He purposed us to do without our meddling and "journeying to find ourselves." But because our God is good, fair, just, and our Father, He will tell us what we want and need to know (as much as we can handle) if we seek Him or need Him to intervene. The Lord has already shared so much with me about my purpose early on in my life. It took me nearly a decade to live it after wavering in my faith and wondering if it was actually true or not. Through it all, He has proven Himself real time and time again. Does not knowing How take away from knowing What? Does knowing the big picture but not the details discredit all the Lord has done for you, shown you, and called you to do?

The answer again is not finite. The answer is found in how much you trust God with your life. If not knowing discredits all that God has done for you, you don't trust Him. The premise of any relationship is trust. So if you don't have trust, how can you even believe in Him and love Him if you've never seen Him. Only trust does that. If you trust the Lord and you are okay only knowing the big picture and not the details, good for you. Now rest.

The best part about trusting the details to the Lord is that you don't have to worry yourself to make it all happen. You don't have to try to figure out how to do it all. The Lord will lead you to the information when the time is right. He will give you wisdom and knowledge that no amount of studying or schooling could provide. The Lord will open the doors or give you the keys to open them yourself. But you have to trust Him first. You really have to be cool floating in the unknown. I am surely preaching to myself ;) I am able to say, "I don't know everything and it is okay" only because I trust the Lord. Can you honestly say to yourself, "I don't know everything and it is okay." I hope I get to walk through the unknown while trusting the Lord soon. Ironically, I've heard it is one of the most peaceful places to be. But I don't have any facts to back that up. So I don't know for sure... and it's okay. SMOOCHES XOXO

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