Wednesday, August 1, 2018

It's Complicated

Hello, Beautifuls! Last year, I wrote an ebook entitled Building My Village. My book simplifies the process of building one's network of relationships, especially if you are an introvert. In the excerpt below, I discuss the differences between healthy & uncomplicated relationships and unhealthy & complicated ones.

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When adults try to sort out what we know and learned about relationships, we tend to focus on categorizing our relationships based on situational vs. intentional or other similarly ranked categories. We tend to believe intentional relationships outrank situational relationships. Yet, we should really be asking ourselves “are my relationships healthy and uncomplicated?”


Healthy relationships are full, well-meaning, and enjoyable connections that promote good health and are absent from strife. Logically, unhealthy relationships are the opposite of the former. Unhealthy relationships are partial, ill-intentioned, and unbearable connections that promote poor health and are full of strife. The term “healthy” and the description of “promoting good health” aren’t just feel good words. Relationships really do shape our minds and emotion. Our minds and emotions control our bodily functions with the release of happy and stress hormones. Healthy relationships can make you feel better physically and prolong your life. Unhealthy relationships can cause headaches, body pains, and, extreme in cases, disease and death.

Complicated relationships are difficult and confusing connections due to interactions that are conditional. On the other hand, uncomplicated relationships are easy and simple connections due to interactions that are unconditional. We often describe our relationships as “it’s complicated.” Complications aren’t a state of being. Things don’t have to be complicated; complications are choices. If a complicated relationship is based on conditional interactions, that means someone is making choices based on the situation in favor of their emotions at the time. Whomever the complication is coming from, that person is not considering the other. In an uncomplicated relationship, all parties are considerate of the other parties. Interactions remain the same because the interactions aren’t based on how one may feel on that particular day. Unconditionally, the parties of an uncomplicated relationship strive for the connection to remain easy and simple no matter how complex and complicated their own life may be.

Healthy and uncomplicated are those beautiful twins, who are always in sync. Unhealthy and complicated are partners in crime. I have never seen an unhealthy relationship that wasn’t at some point introduced to complications. I can even say that a relationship being unhealthy is a complication in itself. Two people deciding to stay connected though they are emotionally and mentally tearing each other apart is difficult and confusing. If all parties aren’t working diligently to make the relationship healthy, maintaining the connection is especially inconsiderate towards one another. Healthy relationships allow you to live, laugh, and love. Uncomplicated relationships allow you to release worry, doubt, and apprehension toward others. You can love freely when you are not watching your back.

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Make sure you watch or listen to this Pretty x Inspiring Session to hear what I have to say about complicated and unhealthy relationships. SMOOCHES XOXO

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Check out my book, Building My Villiage. It's free ;)

For more Pretty x Inspiring Sessions, CLICK HERE.

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